Motherhood Changes Everything
You find out you’re pregnant, and suddenly, your world shifts—not just your body but everything. The physical changes are expected, but no one tells you just how deep the emotional shifts on the journey will be. Motherhood doesn’t just change your body; it reshapes how you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you.
As your baby grows and your hormones fluctuate, you experience an emotional rollercoaster that’s far more complex than anyone warns you about. The ups and downs can feel like reliving your teenage years all over again—except this time, the stakes are higher.
What Is Matrescence?
If you’ve never heard the term matrescence, you’re not alone. I didn’t either, until I had my daughter nearly five years ago. Coined by Dana Raphael in the 1970s, matrescence refers to the profound transformation that occurs during motherhood—physically, psychologically, and socially.
Motherhood, much like adolescence, is a period of change and adjustment. These changes don’t just begin with pregnancy; they can surface during childbirth, adoption, or even the postpartum period.
For many women, one of the most significant challenges is letting go of an old version of themselves. Pregnancy often brings up mixed emotions: excitement and joy about becoming a mom, but also grief for the person you once were. Emotional shifts can sometimes make us feel invisible. Learn how to reclaim your voice here.
Slowing Down: A Challenge and a Gift
For me, the hardest part of pregnancy was learning to slow down. I had always been in survival mode—pushing through each day, checking goals off my list, and rarely pausing to breathe. Pregnancy forced me to confront my limitations.
My body needed rest, but my mind resisted. I wasn’t used to taking naps or giving myself grace for incomplete tasks. But as I embraced the slowness, I realized it wasn’t just my body growing—it was me growing, too. The rest wasn’t just for me; it was for my baby.
Friend, it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to grieve the parts of yourself you’re leaving behind. And it’s okay to take time to redefine who you are.
Embracing the transitions of motherhood requires self-compassion and a strong support system. You don’t have to do this alone. Finding your community—whether it’s family, friends, or a mom support group—can make all the difference.
Navigating Emotional Shifts with Support
There may be times when your support system isn’t enough, and that’s okay too. Seeking professional help to navigate intense emotions like anxiety or depression is a powerful step toward healing.
Defining Your Own Path
Society often pressures women into choosing between being a mom and maintaining their individuality. Let me tell you, friend—you don’t have to choose. You can be a mom and still own your identity.
When I had my daughter, I faced pressures from my family to parent the way they did decades ago. But things have changed, and so have I. I realized that I am the mom now, and I have the power to set the tone for my family. You have that power, too.
You don’t have to fit into any mold that others suggest. Redefine what works for you and your household.
Journaling Exercise: Bridging the Gap
Take a moment to reflect and reconnect with yourself using these prompts:
- What are three aspects of your life before motherhood that you feel you’ve had to let go of? How do you feel about these changes?
- Identify one personal goal or passion from before you became a mother. How can you integrate this into your current life as a mother?
- Describe a moment recently when you felt overwhelmed by the changes of motherhood. How did you handle it? How could you practice more self-compassion in similar moments?
Key Takeaways
- Matrescence is the transformation that occurs during motherhood, similar to adolescence.
- It’s okay to slow down, let go, and embrace your changing self.
- A strong support system is crucial for navigating emotional shifts.
- You don’t have to fit into any mold—set the tone for your family and your life.
Together, we can redefine motherhood.