If someone would have told me that motherhood could be isolating, I would not have believed that. People ask about baby before they ask how you are doing and more times than not, it is very easy to feel invisible in motherhood.
Crying in the Shower: My Breaking Point
I sat in the shower, tears streaming, while my daughter slept soundly in her rocker beside me in the small, enclosed bathroom. Just days ago, my house had been full of family helping out—it felt like a lifetime ago. Those first few weeks of bringing a baby home are critical, yet they can also feel overwhelmingly isolating.
My breasts engorged, exhaustion consumed me, and I dreaded the moment my daughter would wake up. I thought to myself, How did I get here—crying in the shower, feeling completely alone?
The Reality of Motherhood
The moment they placed my daughter on my chest at the hospital, reality hit hard. I pictured TV scenes where nurses whisked babies away to nurseries, but instead, they kept her with me the entire time. They said it encouraged bonding, but the weight of responsibility crashed over me like a wave.
Motherhood is rewarding, yes, but it can also take a significant emotional toll. Feelings of invisibility and being unrecognized can creep in, especially if they’re overlooked or invalidated. For me, having my daughter during COVID only amplified these emotions. Isolation became second nature when I felt like no one was really listening to me.
Why Moms Feel Invisible in Motherhood
Society has placed unrealistic expectations on mothers for generations. We’re expected to manage home, family, and work as if we’re robots on autopilot. This feeds into the feelings of being taken for granted.
As moms, we carry an invisible to-do list in our heads that never seems to end. Even when we cross off today’s tasks, tomorrow’s list is already forming. These unseen efforts are what keep everything running smoothly, but they’re also the ones most often overlooked. If you’re struggling with emotional shifts that amplify feelings of invisibility, this post will resonate with you.
Losing My Voice and Finding It Again
I’ve always been an “I’ll do it myself” kind of person. Life’s experiences shaped that mentality, and when my daughter came along, it only strengthened. I didn’t want anyone to think I couldn’t handle it.
But that mindset came at a cost. I started to lose my voice—not just in motherhood but in my relationships. I felt like no one understood where I was coming from, and comments like, “It’s just your hormones” made me feel even more invalidated. Yes, my hormones were all over the place, but that didn’t mean my feelings weren’t real or valid.
Breaking the Cycle
Invisibility can deeply impact a mother’s sense of self-worth. Anxiety taps you on the shoulder, whispering questions like, “Am I doing the right thing?” or “Am I a good mom?” For me, the most suffocating questions were about my identity.
This cycle of invisibility needs to be broken, and during my journey, I figured out how to take the first steps. These changes didn’t happen overnight, but they made a world of difference.
Steps to Reclaiming Your Voice
Be Assertive
I lost my voice after I had my daughter, partly because of the poor relationships I had in my life. I felt like people downplayed my emotions and didn’t take me seriously. During my postpartum period, I realized that I needed to speak up.
Express your needs openly and honestly. You can’t control how others will react, but staying silent won’t help you. Start by sharing your emotions and advocating for yourself—you’re worth it.
Celebrate the Small Wins
Motherhood is filled with both joyous and challenging moments. I made it a point to cherish small victories with my daughter. Whether it was her sleeping through the night or simply smiling after a tough day, I celebrated those moments.
The hard days are just as important as the good ones because they show your strength and resilience.
Create Your Village
Building a supportive community transformed my journey. I cut ties with relationships that no longer served me and joined a postpartum group, where I connected with other moms navigating similar experiences.
Therapy also became an essential part of my journey. It gave me the tools to address my feelings and redefine what I wanted from my relationships.
Remember Your Worth
Motherhood may sometimes feel invisible, but your contributions are invaluable. By finding your voice, celebrating your wins, and creating a supportive community, you can break the cycle of invisibility.
Key Takeaways
- Motherhood Can Feel Invisible: The emotional toll is real, but your feelings are valid.
- Break the Cycle: Advocate for yourself, celebrate your wins, and create a support system.
- You Matter: Your role as a mom is powerful, and your contributions are priceless.
Your Journey Matters
Friend, take a moment to reflect on your journey. Have you ever felt invisible in motherhood? What steps did you take to feel seen again?
Share your story in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you. Let’s remind ourselves that in this community, we are never truly invisible.