There are so many lessons in motherhood that you will have to encounter and face. Certain moments may take you by surprise, tapping into your own childhood experiences. Parenthood is a unique journey, and to avoid passing down generational trauma, we must be intentional in how we handle these lessons.
A Reflection on Generational Lessons
I never truly understood the saying, “I did the best I could,” until I was confronted with my own trauma while raising my daughter. My mom often said this, and I’m sure your mom may have as well. This phrase stirred mixed emotions in me—it comforted me while also challenging me to navigate its meaning.
My mom showed up the best way she knew how, creating a community around me that included my aunts, grandma, and great-grandma. I truly believe that some parents do the best they can with the tools they have. But times have changed. Mental health awareness has increased, and moms today have access to more resources than ever before.
This shift inspired me to create Mama’s Redefined—a space where we embrace lessons, tools, and growth. Here are four of the most profound lessons motherhood has taught me.
Lesson in Motherhood #1: Shifting Your Expectations
One of the hardest lessons in motherhood is learning to adjust your expectations. They need to align with your current reality, not an idealized version of it.
Like many moms, I fell into the trap of trying to be “Super Mom.” Society glorifies this persona, but no one tells you how draining it is to try and live up to those impossible standards. For me, the pressure to be perfect was compounded by my personality—I’m a Virgo and a perfectionist.
I believed I needed a spotless house, flawless decisions, and unwavering calmness to be a good mom. But this mindset led to burnout. The routines that once worked for me no longer did, and I was drowning in unrealistic expectations.
When I began redefining motherhood for myself, one word stood out: Present. Letting go of perfection allowed me to focus on what truly mattered—being present with my daughter and giving myself grace.
Lesson in Motherhood #2: Pour Back Into You
As moms, we instinctively put everyone else first, but this is a recipe for disaster. During my postpartum journey, I struggled with boundaries, which impacted my relationships and my well-being.
The saying on airplanes, “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others,” rings true in life. Friend, I need you to put your mask on first. Take time to pour back into yourself.
Self-Care Tips:
- Find quiet moments to process your emotions, even if it’s just 5-10 minutes in the bathroom.
- Delegate tasks—it’s okay to ask for help and lean on your support system.
- Pursue a hobby or passion that brings you joy. For me, dance classes became an outlet for both exhilaration and self-expression.
Lesson in Motherhood #3: Get Comfortable with Vulnerability
During my postpartum journey, I often felt lost and alone. I struggled with strained relationships and felt like I had no outlet for my emotions. When I finally opened up to my cousin—a trusted confidant and anchor in my life—I started to heal.
Friend, it’s okay to feel uncertain and emotional. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Find someone you trust, whether it’s a family member, friend, or mom group, to share your thoughts and feelings.
Vulnerability allows you to connect more deeply with yourself and others. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s essential for growth. Understanding emotional shifts is a key step to embracing motherhood’s transformative journey. Dive deeper into this topic here.
Lesson in Motherhood #4: Be Intentional with Your Time
I thought I understood patience before I became a mom, but motherhood redefined it for me. It’s the small, consistent moments that matter most.
One of my favorite routines was winding down with my daughter every night. I’d ask her, “Hi baby, how was your day? Did you have a good day?” She would smile and coo, and it became a cherished ritual.
When she was almost two years old, she surprised me by asking, “Mommy, how was your day?” That moment brought tears to my eyes—it was a reminder that our children are always watching and learning from us.
Redefining motherhood means focusing on what truly matters: ensuring your child is loved, happy, growing, and healthy. That starts with being present.
Key Takeaways
- Shifting Expectations: Let go of perfection and focus on being present.
- Self-Care: Pour back into yourself—you can’t pour from an empty cup.
- Vulnerability: Embrace your emotions and build a trusted support system.
- Intentionality: Be present in the small, meaningful moments that shape your child’s development.
Your Journey, Your Growth
Motherhood teaches us lessons we never expected, shaping us into stronger, more connected, and compassionate versions of ourselves.
Friend, embrace the unexpected, be open to growth, and allow these experiences to redefine you. Have you learned unexpected lessons on your motherhood journey? Share your story in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you.